Thank You For Your Dedication To My Re-Election Campaign! I Hereby Appoint You To The Board Of….

I love the myriad of state boards and commissions we have in Texas, I truly do. After all, they give the Governor a place to stick party loyalists who stuff his pockets full of cash.

Of course, not all appointments are as plum as the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality board, the Texas Parks and Wildlife Board, being named a Regent of a various university system, or even the Texas Funeral Services Commission (which only earned its prestige through Harry Whittington). And, not all loyalists are evidently loyal enough to to get the good appointments.
Yep. Sometimes, all Perry’s got in his goody bag for a loyalist is the Texas State Board of Acupuncture Examiners.

That’s what a guy named Raymond J. Graham from El Paso was appointed to today by Governor Goodhair.

What is even more amusing is that the man was evidently appointed to one of the ‘citizen seats’ as opposed to one reserved for someone on the Acupuncture or medical field. I say that because the guy’s qualifications are far more in line with an appointment to…well, anything except a field where people stick needles in your head, back and ass to make you well:

Graham is president and owner of Frontera Manufacturing Support Services and R & J’s Construction. He is a member of the El Paso Industrial Development Authority, the El Paso Workforce Retraining Advisory Committee and the El Paso Manufacturing Cabinet. Graham is also a member of the Upper Rio Grande Workforce Development Board, vice chairman of the Upper Rio Grande College Tech Prep Youth Consortium and president of Showtime El Paso.

Now, I don’t know Graham from Adam, but judging by his board service, he’s probably at least got the rudimentary qualifications to serve on a state commission. But, I wonder, did he piss Governor Perry off to get stuck on one of the C-list state boards like this? Were there no upcoming slots on the Texas Residential Construction Commission or the Texas Water Development Board or something?
Maybe he just isn’t giving enough. Texas Ethics Commission records show his only contributions are a total of two for $1,350 to the Republican Party in El Paso. Maybe sticking this guy in a room full of people who stick needles into peoples’ scalps and fingers for a living is encouragement to get him ponying up just a little more dough.

I mean, do people in the coffee shops in El Paso know much about accupuncture? Wouldn’t people kind of make fun of you behind your back at the sale barn if you were on the Board of Acupuncture Examiners? (”Hey, Sid, didja hear ’bout ol’ Raymond? Guvvenner Perry be dun ‘pointed him to that board of Akkipunkter ‘Zaminers! Baw haw haw haw! Got any chewin’ tabaccie left?”)
And, no Showtime El Paso (of which Mr. Raymond is president) is not a strip club (though it sure sounds like one). It’s actually some kind of visiting concert series.

But, all kidding aside, Mr. Raymond will no doubt get a beautiful certificate with the State Seal on it, and governor Perry’s signature certifying that he is, indeed, a full-fledged member of the Board of Acupuncture Examiners. That’s something to cherish and hand down for generations.