Court To Redraw Districts

There have been so many twists, turns, maps, briefs, data sheets and press releases thrown around in the latest round of the Texas Redistricting Saga that I can’t remember if I predicted this is what would happen or not, but the three-judge panel has decided it will redraw the map, not pick any of the maps submitted by the plaintiffs, intervenors, or defendants:

“We will do the best as we can, as imperfect as probably that will be,” he [Judge Higginbotham] said later. “Our standard will be the voters.”

As imperfect as it might be, I’m sure it’s better than the state’s map. AG Greg Abbott, of course, had this to say:

“The court was very clear they are going to put the interests of the voters first,” Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott said after the hearing. “They are trying to set aside partisan politics.”

So, is he admitting that the map his office drew was all about partisan politics, or just sucking up to the judges in case President Bush decides to elevate his status to the Fifth Circuit in a moment of folly?
On another note, I’m sure all of those judges’ law clerks are just thrilled about the possibility of sitting in front of computers staring at maps and moving lines all weekend—which they’ll be doing since the judges will have the map out by Monday.

And, don’t you just know that, as tedious as the process of drawing these maps is, that there will probably be moments of levity:

HIGGINBOTHAM: Hey, John, if I move this line over here, then this district looks kind of like a spleen!

WARD: Ha ha! Look at this one I drew, It combines Bonillia, Cuellar, Doggett, and Smith, and it’s a Latino Opportunity District! I rule!
ROSENTHAL: That’s nothing. I just brought five stray cats, and covered my mouse and keyboard with tuna juice and they drew a map that you’d have to be on acid to understand! I think it actually redistricts part of Mexico, but I don’t think we’re allowed to do that.

HIGGINBOTHAM: Well, that’s nothing. I just bumped my mouse and accidently redistricted Lamar Smith into the Panhandle! Woopsie!

WARD: Hey, get those cats out of here! That one just relieved itself on my shoe! We’ve got to get to work!

For some reason, lately, when I think of redistricting, I think of 20th Century composer John Cage and “chance” music. I mean, seriously, what would happen if you decided to draw these maps using some of the methods Cage used to write music? You’d end up with interesting districts, that’s for sure.

Tweet This Post   Ping This Post

Bookmark It