$29.95 Is Not The Price Of Hope

The latest story on who has raised how much in the Texas Governor’s race is making the rounds on the wires this evening.

Though Chris Bell is at the bottom of the pack, the $1.3 million figure of money raised is more than many expected him to raise. Plus, in a campaign where Perry and Strayhorn will do their best to slaughter each other with television ads (with racist comments from Kinky Friedman thrown in here and there for good measure), it is probably not a terrible thing that Bell will make his likely monetary surge later than sooner. Let Perry and Strayhorn battle it out for a while…

I did find this tidbit on Friedman, who has raised most of his money through his online store, quite entertaining (appropo, since he is an entertainer):

Friedman’s online campaign store accounted for about one-third of his $1.5 million in contributions during the first half of the year. The store sells items such as bumper stickers for $3, caps for $20 and talking action figures for $29.95.

Friedman said in an AP interview this week that his supporters aren’t buying his merchandise “the way Britney Spears’ fans buy stuff.”

“I think it’s that we have given people hope,” he said. “They think we can do it. The young people are inspired now and inspiring me.”

If a $29.95 action figure could buy you hope, then hope is lost.

On the flip side, if Rick Perry and Carole Strayhorn had action figures, then perhaps some enterprising soul would put them in a boxing ring a la MTV’s Celebrity Deathmatch and we’d have something funny to watch on YouTube this week.

Of course, Perry’s action figure would have to come complete with an owl-style head so it would be able to have that patended “I’m proud of Texas” camera turn; Strayhorn’s would have to come complete with several sticks of faux dynamite so she can “blast” the Trans Texas Corridor and Texas Residential Construction Commission off the map.

Chris Bell’s, of course, would wear a tee-shirt that says, “Chairman of the Thank God We’re Not Mississippi Committee,” and a stack of minature public policy briefings. After all, he’s the only one with serious policy ideas that don’t involve “blasting” something, building a wall along the border or 50 gallon cans of Aqua Net (/Rick Perry).

By the way, if Kinky Friedman built a wall along the Mexican Border as he wants to do, and legalized marijuana, as he said he’d do, how would he expect any marijuana to come in to be legalized?

Just a point to ponder on a Manic Monday.

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