Rick Perry’s Rambling Mess: Criticizing Hillary Clinton, Calls Boyd Ritchie A ‘Good Fella,” & More!!

If you are in the mood to watch a train wreck on a Friday morning, look no further than this YouTube video of Rick Perry before the press this week. I don’t know if the man needs more caffeine, less caffeine, has just become less smrt while in office, or what. Either way, watch the video, and check out our favorite statements below.

We can already see this video becoming the next great college drinking game at UT Austin. (Every time the governor calls R.G. Ratcliffe by name, FIVE SHOTS OF TEQUILA!) [Seriously, we not believe the esteemed Mr. Ratcliffe is the only reporter whose name the Governor knows and/or can remember! Poor Karen Brooks....]

Our favorite lines:

“The more time I spent with [Rudy] the more I admired….his assets.”

“We measure people every day.”

“We’ll just have a full-blown press conference, R.G. [Ratcliffe]!”

“I don’t recall a meeting with Mitt Romney last summer….I don’t recall a meeting with him other than….him coming by the mansion and having a discussion about RGA…obviously wasn’t a whole lot to recall from it.”

“This matrix may not be the best….”

“I’m still just as conservative as I was five years ago and as I will be five years in the future.”

“…that warms my conservative heart.”

“I…I…I love business principles in government.”

“That’s why I like to hear the words, ‘I’m gon’ stop the earmarks.’”

“He and I most likely will go to the border region. I suspect he will want to be briefed on what we have done with our homeland security.”

“He was thankful and appreciative, and I told him I was proud to fly wing for him…”

“Two words: Hillary Clinton. That kind of gets everybody focused on what the alternative is.”

“Hillary Clinton as the president? I guess ‘to hell in a handbasket’ would not be a good quote, but that’s the first thing that came to mind.”

Q: Do you think John McCain will sew up the nomination? A (Rick Perry): “I think it’s possible.”

“There is a substantial wave. Does it crest on the fifth? Certainly it could.”

“I don’t bruise too easily.”

“You’re writing my political obituary?”

“I haven’t made a decision about my political future at all.”

“There are other people who should be more focused on their jobs rather than saying they’re going to be running for governor of Texas.”

“I think that every decision I’ve made has been principled.” [HAW HAW HAW Haw haw hawhaw]

“Gosh, R.G. I’ve even said some things I’d like to take back if I could, or if the TV camera wasn’t running

“Imona’ have…I suspect on Wednesday morning there’s not going to be much of a field left.”

“I don’t know if I follow what you’re askin’.”

“That is so inside baseball.”

“Texas always mattered. But, we couldda mattered a whole lot more if we had moved our primary up to February 5, but…”

“It’s the old resign to run law that we have.”

“It wouldn’t have made any difference if I’d gotten up and said, ‘this is the most important item on our agenda.’”

“One of the few times that Boyd Ritchie was in my office up workin’ on issues. He’s always welcome. A good fella, by the way.”

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