The Best & Worst Of 2008: Election Ads, Stupid Political Tricks & More

[Ever year here at Capitol Annex, we chronicle the best and worst of the year that was. This year, we've split things up a bit, since it was, after all, an election year. We're putting the election-related "Best & Worst" into a couple of different posts, and putting the rest of the year into a couple of different posts that we'll release from now through December 15. Enjoy.]

If you are an avid follower of Texas politics, you probably looked around several times throughout 2008 and wondered, “am I on acid, or is this really happening?” Don’t worry, you weren’t alone.

2008 will go down in history as one of the most bizarre election cycles in Texas political history. From Karl Rove fundraisers to a cigar chomping soon-to-be-ex-state senator trying to litigate his way to an electoral victory (oh, and don’t forget the primacaucus!), it was as if this election cycle smoked a bowl of crack, downed a bottle of Everclear, and drove a 1978 Ford Pinto the wrong way up an exit ramp on I-45 at speeds of 120 miles per hour as the wheels and bumper fell off in a sparky mess—while urinating out the window at stunned motorists.

Now that we’ve all had time to clean ourselves of the 2008 Election Cycle’s bladder leakage, and have a stiff drink to try and forget what it was like being kidnapped and held at gunpoint in the back of that Pinto, it is time to take a look at the Election Cycle That Was. Grab a tissue and a bedpan, you may need both for this retrospective.

Worst Television Ad By A Republican Candidate There is some stiff competition in this category, because God knows Republicans can’t get through a single election cycle without producing television attack ads that make you so damned mad you crap your shorts while throwing stuff at the television set. However, there was one clear winner in this category that, far and away, lept over the finish line with its nauseating, self-righteous, inaccurate, script. “Allen Vaught Said ‘No’” probably seemed like a really good idea when the concept came to Bill Keffer’s campaign consultants on the back nine at Willowbrook after nine six packs few Old Milwaukee. At least, that is what we assume because we can’t fathom that anyone would ever come up with a commercial that is so misleading and tacky while also being so self-serving that not even a Republican could like it while sober. This is probably the worst use of a “wedge issue” in a TV commercial that we’ve ever seen, with school vouchers being a wedge issue. We wrote a lot about this ad here, and, quite frankly, we aren’t too eager to relive it, so we’ll let you go read it on your own. Pay special attention to the comments. HONORABLE MENTION: We doubt that the folks at the Empower Texans PAC have yet been able to Pine-Sol the slime off their bodies after airing this ad against Democrat Joel Redmond in House District 144. Blaming one mortgage broker for the collapse of the global economy is like casting the blame for the state of education in Texas on one first grader who got a frowny face on her recent spelling test. HONORABLE MENTION II: I would really love to know what douchebag though this ad done for Brian Walker’s campaign against Chuck Hopson in East Texas was a good idea? “Poor Chuck, he might be pretty but he shore’ ain’t conservative?” What in the hell? Did Brian Walker think they were running for Sheriff of Mayberry? And that little pinging glint thingy that they put coming out of Hopson’s eye was just so over the top. For the first six seconds of the ad, you wonder if you are seeing a political ad or some Republican infomercial full of homoerotic fantasies about WD-40s.

Worst Political Mailer By A Republican Candidate: It is, flat out, a tie in this category. And, once again, Bill Keffer and Ken Legler rise to the top like cream–if you like your cream slimy emanating the odor of death. Both win this honor for racist mailers. Here is the one done for Legler–again by Empower Texans–and here is the one done by Keffer’s campaign against Allan Vaught.

Worst Stunt By A Republican Campaign To Gain Sympathy Using A Campaign Mailer: State Rep. John Davis (R-Clear Lake) wins this one in a walk for having his wife attack Sherrie Matula because, we presume, he was too much of a puss to do the dirty work himself. Mailed complete with a first-class stamp, this letter, made to look like it was handwritten–if you are a moron and do not understand what a “font” is–is perhaps best described as “litter box lining.” The only thing more stupid than the mailer itself is the number of suburban hillbillies who believed they had actually received a handwritten letter from John Davis’ wife. God knows how many Republican homeschooling mommies in HD 129 framed this or put it in their children’s scrapbooks. That the mail piece failed to include a political disclaimer and that Davis’ campaign was so un-cost conscious that their mailing universe included his opponent’s daughter add to the hilarity.

Best Positive Television Ads: We’ve got a lot of favorites in this category, and three ads tied to be our our number one pick. First place goes to Sherrie Matula’s campaign in HD 129 for this ad, and Joe Jaworski’s campaign for this ad, which is one of the best bio-spots we’ve seen in a long time, and Juan Garcia’s clever “Revolving Door” ad down in HD 32.

Best Negative Television Ads: Bill Dingus, who ran against House Speaker Tom Craddick comes in first in this category for his pair of clever ads using a cutout of House Speaker Tom Craddick. The runner up in this category is Wendy Davis’ campaign for Texas Senate, which ran this ad attacking Sen. Kim Brimer.

Best Negative Mailer. There were a lot of great negative or “contrast” mailers that went out this year. For us, the best of negative mailers all have something in common: they take risks, and take aim–with a very sharp knife–at the opponents proverbial balls. One mailer in particular caught our attention this year and stands out as the best in this category–we wish we had a scan of it, but we don’t. We’re talking about the controversial mailer sent by Sandra VuLe’s campaign in House District 112 that highlighted Angie Chen Button’s massive investments in some of the biggest offenders doing business and profiting from the genocide in Darfur. It was risky, it was controversial, and it was great mailer.

Dumbest Soundbite: When Tony Goolsby (R-Dallas) told the media that he was “up to his ass in a damned campaign,” and was too busy to pay much attention to the costly renovation of the House Member’s Lounge, he sealed his fate while reminding voters just how out-of-touch he was. It was, far and away, the single worst soundbite from any candidate this election cycle.

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