I’ve been doing some digging just to see what other gems have come out of Kinky Friedman’s mouth over the years.
Turns out he’s insulted not only African Americans, but lawyers, gays, women, and a host of other groups. And, he and Texas Congressman Lamar Smith (R-San Antonio) are great pals!
Here are some excerpts:
Popularity: 7% [?]
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Take that makeshift bong out of your bedroom and into the streets! Kinky Friedman wants to legalize marijuana:
Independent gubernatorial candidate Kinky Friedman said Wednesday he favored legalizing marijuana to keep nonviolent users out of prison and said he would push to release those already in prison for the offense to free prison space for more violent criminals.
There is so much wrong with this I don’t know where to start.
First off, this is going to cost Friedman more votes from law-and-order types across the political spectrum than it will gain him from the faux-intellectual-aging-small-
town-hippie-criminal-defense-lawyer sect (which accounts for about .002 percent of the electorate), or any other group that supports legalization.
Second, it sounds more like what Friedman is talking about is more of a “decriminalization” than a “legalization,” although he’s taken it to the max and said “legalization.”
There is a vast gulf separating decriminalization from legalization. Decriminalization would mean less stiff penalities, more rehab, and similar measures. Legalization would mean, in its truest sense of the word, that it’s just out there for sale. That, too, is different from “regulated,” which would be something like they have in Amsterdam, if you can believe everything you see in Pulp Fiction, or possibly, that you could buy it at the corner store like tobacco products.
While decriminalization might be the answer, legalization certainly is not the answer—at least, if you have any desire of getting votes. That is, of course, unless Friedman’s new target is appealing to Libertarian voters.
And, my fears that Kinky Friedman and the Legislature would be in perpetual “stand off” mode if he were elected was also noted by the Star-Telegram:
Acknowledging the Texas governor’s authority is limited compared with executives in other states, Friedman said he would use the bully pulpit of the governor’s office to cajole legislators, whom he said he didn’t trust.
“I do not trust the media either,” he said. “This is a no-brainer right here. The legislators are not the visionary leaders of Texas. We don’t look for them to lead us. Right now the lobbyists are leading us. We have a lack of leadership, a vacuum.
Big, big, big mistake for Friedman. If you want to get something done if Hell freezes over and you are elected, the last thing you should do is criticize the legislature.
Popularity: 8% [?]
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I knew instantly why the story about Kinky Friedman and his “platform” was being so hyped by the mainstream media:
People are pretty damned shocked Kinky has any ideas worthy of newsprint.
And, though Kinky is evidently scared enough to now try and court Democratic voters (Friedman is a Republican) with some good-government ideas, don’t forget that, politically, he’s from the wrong side of the tracks. Don’t forget either that most of Kinky’s ideas aren’t even his own to begin with. I think a few are swiped right out of the mouths of Democratic candidates in the past:
Kinky Friedman put forth his most detailed agenda to date Monday, calling for publicly financed political campaigns, a two-year lobbying ban for state officeholders and employees after they stop working for the state and giving residents the right to push an idea onto a statewide ballot.
The independent candidate for governor also said he wants revamped political primaries, voter registration on election days and a nonpartisan commission to draw legislative districts instead of lawmakers.
Could someone send this guy some proposals to talk about that aren’t someone else’s?
Popularity: 4% [?]
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If the race for Texas governor ended Friday with everyone else dropping out of the race and Chris Bell being crowned governor by the Pope, the Dali Lama, James Leininger and Ann Richards, that’d be fine with me, because I think we can say we’ve already say we’ve seen “everything” now:
Independent candidate Kinky Friedman’s campaign has spawned not one but two blogs deueling for attention—one of which is receiving some not-so-kind publicity from Kinky’s campaign.
Blogs Stop Kinky! and Kinky Is Awesome are the two blogs. And, the Friedman campaign is evidently using the latter blog to take potshots at the first one.
Kinky Is Awesome has up this post, in which Kinky spokeswoman Laura Stromberg notes the following (I though this might be from Kinky’s blog, but I couldn’t find it, leading me to believe it was done just for Kinky Is Awesome):
“Some of you may be aware of a blog called “Stop Kinky” that is dedicated to, well, stopping Kinky.
I won’t even get into the various falsities and inaccuracies one can find throughout this particular blog, but I would like to ask all who are tempted to rise to Kinky’s defense to consider doing this instead: absolutely nothing.
I’m a tremendous fan of blogs, and I believe there are some incredibly good ones out there. But this particular blog is nothing more than one man’s slanted and very personal agenda, and we hope that it receives as little attention as possible.”
Oh, Laura! Take it from me, that when you tell a bunch of bloggers and blog readers that you home something “receives as little attention as possible,” it is going to get maximum exposure by default. It’s kind of like building a Wal-Mart. Everybody hates Wal-Mart, but if you build it, they will come.
While I’ve not read every single post that’s been put up at Stop Kinky!, which I’ve been monitoring for From The Blogs for some time now, I’ve really not seen a lot that is full of “falsities and inaccuracies.” Mainly, that blog’s author seems to take press coverage or particular issues and use them to show why he (or she) doesn’t think Kinky will make a good governor. Kinky Is Awesome is doing the opposite. Granted, none of the stuff on Stop Kinky! paints Friedman in a very positive light, (the open container issues, allegations that Kinky Friedman lied about voting for Al Gore in 2000), it doesn’t strike me as being over the top.
One thing about both blogs, though, is that they do seem to be getting the traffic. Stop Kinky gets tons of comments per post. Some of that blog’s post have more comments than the average post on some of the Texas Blogsphere’s most visited blogs.
All of this brings up another point that I am not sure a lot of people have realized yet: Kinky Friedman is a very, very polarizing figure and becomes more so each day. Before he even started opening his mouth in this race, he was polarizing. If you were a Texas Monthly reader when he had his column, you loved him or you hated him. You just can’t be “in the middle” about Kinky Friedman. His personal style almost mandates that people will either love the guy or think he’s a joke and a crackpot and dispise him. Even with Perry and Strayhorn, I think people can find more middle ground. Partisan and “independent” voters can be indifferent about Perry and Strayhorn, but you’d better believe they have a position on Kinky Friedman.
With such a polarizing person in the race for governor, you can bet that, come election day, if people are “undecided,” Kinky Friedman will not be among the choices they are “undecided” about. They’ll either love Kinky and be “decided’ in his favor or hate Kinky and be “undecided” about Strayhorn, Perry and Bell.
Oh, Texas politics! Can’t you just feel the love…
[By the way, we’re very please to note that Friedman’s spokesperson notes she is an advid blog reader and actually offers some bloggers praise (sans the names & sites), which is more than we get most days.
Popularity: 8% [?]
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Kinky turned in 169,000 signatures in eleven boxes (as opposed to Strayhorn’s 101 containing less that one and a half times that amount).
And, I think Kinky’s got a new campaign slogan:
“And they’re all saying the same thing. ‘We’re angry, and it’s time for change.’”
Sadly, I guess Kinky did get his signatures. I just wonder how many of those petition sheets were covered in beer.
Popularity: 6% [?]
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The Kinky Friedman Show will be coming to town Thursday, for those in Austin who’d actually to bother to catch it. Kinky will reportedly deliver 11 boxes of signatures totaling over 100,000 sigs to the Secretary of State’s Office via a caravan escorted by police motorcycles (who in the Austin PD OK’d THAT?) and hold a “High Noon” press conference outside the SOS offices.
Afterward, he’ll challenge Secretary of State Roger Williams to a “Real Live Texas Gunfight,” and dance with some “Authentic Independent Texas Hookers” while drinking “Friedman’s Favorite Homemade Hot Sauce Flavored Moonshine” and smoking pot with Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg—all while flogging a new book he’s expected to announce at the press conference: “How To Make Sure Your Next Mediocre Novel Will Be A Best Seller Without Learning To Write Gooder.”
No word on whether they’ll use live ammo in that gunfight.
I hear there will be a lot of important political folks skulking around on the streets to see what Kinky has to say but, more so, because I know for a fact they (meaning the movers, shakers and people in power) are as skeptical as I am that he actually has the signatures and that their valid (Seriously: the margin of error must go up exponentially when you’re collecting signatures in bars).
It’s a longshot, but anyone want odds on the fact this is some kind of publicity stunt and he’s going to set fire to his petitions (if he’s got them) to “make a statement,” or that it’s nothing but 100,000 signatures from the same drunk guy from one of the bars the gatherers frequented and that he just signed so many times because he was plastered? I thought not. Looks like Kinky may have the damned signatures after all.
Popularity: 4% [?]
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Oh, my. The Mainstream Media in Texas cannot stop making petition-gatherers Carole Four Names and Kinky Friedman their darlings:
This article from KXAN-TV Austin makes it sound like people are running around Wal-Mart parking lots asking everyone they see if they are gathering signatures for Kinky or Carole. And, with statements like the one OTG made that is the headline for this post, I’m wondering if they’re also staking out public bathrooms, high school baseball games, and yard sales.
Maybe we need to check bathroom stalls to make sure there aren’t any petition gatherers hiding in them…I mean, there are only so many Kosher chili cook-offs in Texas, right?
Which got me to thinking: There are a lot of opportunities for signature gathering these campaigns haven’t even thought of yet:
What about hospital emergency rooms? I’ll bet Carole and Kinky haven’t tried gathering signatures there. Maybe they should send people to Parkland in Dallas and Herman in Houston. Very captive audiences in those waiting rooms, that’s for sure.
Or, better yet, car washes! Everyone’s at the self-serve car wash on a sunny Saturday. Maybe they should send petition gatherers there, too. I mean, heck, they’re already going door to door so they might as well invade every aspect of voters’ personal lives.
Ohh….I forgot laundarymats! Send gatherers there! Lots of people use laundrymats.
And Country Clubs…golf courses…bars…sporting good stores…convinence stores…funeral homes (very captive audiences there)…cemetery association picnics…Sears…J.C. Penny…if Montgomery Ward were still around, that’d be a good place…ohhh, and how about….(Add your zany location in the comments)…
Popularity: 4% [?]
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To raucous cheers and sprays of beer, gubernatorial candidate Kinky Friedman made his pitch at the San Angelo Picnic with a campaign speech that was both a sermon of populism and a stand-up comedy routine.As volunteers with petitions circled through the several thousand who attended the eighth annual outdoor concert along the Concho River, Friedman stood on stage - can of beer in one hand, cigar in the other - and delivered his well-worn diatribe against the powers in Austin.
I’ll have to say this: Even Carole Four Names has shown more dignity in seeking the office of Governor as an independent than Kinky Friedman. The man is a total emabarassment to politics and the state of Texas. It’s one thing to be out “among the people,” or behave as an “average person,” but it’s quite another to take the stage, beer-in-hand and proclaim that you want to be the next governor of Texas.
And, the lack of dignity by the candidate is just as bad as the motivation of some signing Kinky’s petition:
”It’s not so much that we’re Republican, Democrat or independent,” Martin said. ”I’ll support anyone that tries hard to get on the ballots.”
Once again, just that someone “tries hard” to get on the ballot does not make them a credible candidate.
Why are some voters in Texas so stupid? Is it that they’ve been drinking at the Trough of Stupidity set out by the Republican Party of Texas for so long that they’ve forgotten that there are other choices?
You don’t sign a petition because someone “tries hard.” You sign a petition because you support that candidate and want to see him or her appear on the ballot so you can vote for them and what they stand for?
As far as I can tell, Kinky Friedman has contradicted himself on every major position a politican can. What does he stand for? Self-promotion. He knows he’s not going to win this (perhaps not even get on the ballot). So, the fact that he’s run will just make his next book sell that much more.
As loathe as I am to ever, ever, ever defend Carole Keeton Strayhorn, I will say she is at least one step above the ladder than Kinky Friedman when it comes to having a little class and dignity. Still, however, she can’t match Chris Bell in that department, as she too is out for nothing but self-promotion and her own ego, which probably needs its own zip code (Kinky’s ego doesn’t just need its own zip code—it’s as big as Brewster County).
Popularity: 4% [?]
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What is the deal with journalists in Texas being so ga-ga over Kinky Friedman? They are worse than a bunch of 11-year-old girls at a Backstreet Boys Concert.
As a former journalist, I’ve always viewed people like Kinky Friedman (and their campaigns, when they run for office) as something more for the “Style” section than for the news section. They just aren’t serious; they’re funny.
And, I guess that’s why columnists, op/ed writers and beat reporters around the state are ready to drop their collective knees and worship and the shrine of Kinkydom.
This column in the Alpine Avalanche is an excellent example of journalists and columnists not doing their best to fully realize the implications of a Kinky candidacy—let alone a Kinky governorship—and letting their wild-eyed, tongue lolling, star struck, dumb-struck KinkyLove get in the way of the fact that there is no real substance to Kinky Friedman.
Here’s an excerpt:
With a Republian governor who keeps his head down and no significant Democratic candidates in the arena, Kinky has transformed many a slow news day into, if not an event, at least a laugh.
I’m sorry, but I believe you must not have read the news lately. Chris Bell is a significant candidate, unlike the man you are touting. He’s on a rung of the ladder lower than Jesse Ventura.
Popularity: 4% [?]
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